I'll be sittin in the eveinin calm. I love that song, btw. So this is my very last night in Ireland, and in Europe….. for now. I leave tomorrow at 10:30. Coming home is going to be strange, but it will also be great. I miss all of my friends so much and I can't wait to see all your smiling happy faces.
I am officially drunk on this last night, as I believe is fitting, esp. in Ireland. I bought a bottle of wine in Dingle and we didn't drink it. So I brought it over to Dublin, and no one wanted any (I swear to God I offered) so I drank the damn thing by myself. As you can imagine, I'm pretty fucked up. But lucky me, I have someone to wake me up personally in the morning because the alarms that they provide are all broken….. yes, that may be lame, but you must remember that right now I have free internet, so that works things out as far as I'm concerened (plus someone is going to wake me up personally in the morning!
).
It's a strange thing going home. I have so much to look forward to and so much to worry about. But most of all I just have to plan for my next trip into South or Central America. Traveling has revealed much to me, and one of those things is that right now I am most certainly not ready to settle down and stay in one place. I am very excited to start a new adventure and move throughout the world…. as much as I can anyway. I've decided that I am more of a rolling stone than I realized. While I long for stability, it really must come after I've seen everything I want to see. And there is so much to see…… I have so many goals right now that I know are achieveable and wonderful and intruiging that there is no way that one place is going to satisfy me for any amount of time, and I am happy with that.
I guess overall most of you will think that traveling has been a bad influence on me. But I really feel the opposite. All my life I've wanted to experience new places and cultures and be truly free of the monotonous 9-5. Now that I've tasted this freedom, there's no going back for awhile, and even if I do, it'll be something that is more than just desk work. To be honest I'm proud that I'm moving beyond that and into my goal from when I was very young. This was to not get caught up in the 9-5 and to move on with life at every opportunity. I realize that this goal will get old as I do….(actually, maybe it won't)…… but if it does, I think I'm also of the temprament to settle down after I've experienced everything I want to. While that's a lot, no one need worry about my well being (mom
) Everyone makes their decisions about life, and sometimes it takes a kick in the ass to really realize it is what you want to strive for. Me, I want to strive for a greater understanding.
Wow, this has been very introspecitive, but I guess it must be after such a long and introverted trip. I love and appreciate those who traveled with me (DYLAN AND YVONNED WOOOHOOOO!!!! (miss you)) and those who have been there for me durning the trip (KARLA, KEITH AND KFIR!!!! (thanks for everything)) But being alone has created the greatest amount of self decision and creativity that would not have existed if I had just decided to stay at home. (Let's not forget those who have made this trip really possible for me since I'm shouting out; Nam, Jay, Dad and Mom and Dad)
Now that I feel like I'm giving shout outs I am going to head to bed, there are too many to thank. I'll let you all know how it is to be home. In the mean time know that my dreams consist of living in Rome, doing the entire camino, going to Nicaragua or Ecuador and traveling to India, Egypt and Turkey the same way that I traveled to the countries I saw on this trip….. not in that order.
I am torn about going home, but I know that right now it is the best decision for me and that it will only create the best situation for me to get traveling again, and that's what I want, for many different reasons.
I think I will try and keep this blog up while I am in the US, so don't stop reading. And if you're in the bay area and reading, invite me to a party goddamn it!!! Heehee. I feel like I'm in Britain or something, having to be reintroduced into society
LOve you all, and thanks for all your comments and love. Europe is over for now, but it's just the beginning.
*Sittin' in the mornin' sun,
I'll be sittin' in the eveinin' calm
Watchin' the ships roll in
And I watch 'em roll away again
Sittin' on the dock of a bay
Watchin' the tides roll away*